Ron Artest, who has been on crook-watch all season, opened up his wallet as wide as he generally opens his mouth this week. He Gave away $18,000 in tickets to two lucky fans for game 1 of the NBA Finals. When the fans tweeted Ron that they needed tickets, I doubt they expected him to respond at all. When he did, they must have been thrilled. When they found out they were floor seats, they must have been, well…floored. Ron who publicized his defense just a few months back played lock-down D in the victory. It’s nice to see Ron-Ron giving something to fans other than fractured mandibles. Haywood’s Heroes, who’s been a real crookball force so far, will lose 4 pts (1pt per $5,000) in Giving Back for this menschy deed. We realize the tickets were $18,000 not $20,000. However, after Ticketmaster’s (the real crooks) fees, charges, convenience charges, and surcharges the cost likely eclipsed the 20k mark.
Chris Pronger-member of the Philadelphia Flyers, and Charlie Sheen’s Wild Things, raised some pronounced brows this week when he stole game pucks from the first two games of the Stanley Cup Finals.
I wonder if I should have recycled them instead...
He was apparently upset by losing both games and took the pucks so the winning team, the Chicago Blackhawks, could not keep them as souvenirs. His actions have been called, “Bush league” by members of the Blackhawks, but here at Crookball we prefer the term, “our league.” He then threw them in the garbage where according to Pronger, “they belonged.” Hockey players, while known for fighting, do not have a long history of theft. It is nice to see they are beginning to diversify.
Marquis Daniels’ step father, Willie L. Buie, was forcibly removed from Amway arena earlier this week during game two of the Eastern Conference Finals. He reportedly yelled expletives, refused to leave and swung his arms at officers. While parents getting riled up at their children’s sporting events is nothing new, it generally happens when their children are you know, actually playing. The 6th year dinosaurish, alien-looking guard has yet to play a minute in this 3rd round of the playoffs. It is not known what prompted Buie to act a fool. Perhaps he was upset at the news that the arena will NOT be converted into a Mega Church when the Magic move into their new complex. Or it could be that Buie was so upset his step son dino-alien was not seeing any “court” time, he decided to try and get some of his own.
Carrie Stoudemire has been arrested 12 times! The charges have ranged from drug possession to prostitution.
This story, along with A’mare Stoudemire’s mother being arrested for not having a mandated breathalyzer in her vehicle due to her previous DUI charges got us thinking; Maybe we should have a roster spot for Athletes’ family members. Weigh in below.
I hate to say I told you so, but remember that blog I posted yesterday? The one below this one, warning Crookball managers that there was a PED probe on the way? While I took my chances and picked up two ailing Cleveland Browns O-linemen, we all slept on Santana Moss. The Redskins receiver got busted. More to come, I hope. Send in your pickups NOW!
Cities and players visited by Anthony Galea on his eight-week, eight-town, 23-player syringe tour:
• Washington … 2 players 1 player
• New York … 3
• Tampa … 2
• Orlando … 1
• Boston … 2
• San Francisco … 1
• San Diego … 1
• Cleveland … 11
Galea went on an eight-week, eight-city spree, ingecting 23 NFL players with HGH and other fun things.
Canadian doctor, Anthony Galea, was busted for smuggling performance enhancing drugs across the border last summer and injecting NFL players in eight cities with human growth hormone and “other substances.” If you were on the East Coast last year and picked up a needle-totin’ hitchhiker who spelt words with unnecessary U’s, this was probably the guy. According to the ESPN report, 23 unidentified athletes are cited in court documents that were released this week after an eight-month investigation. Check out the full story here.
It’s only a matter of time before the NFL and its affiliate, Fantasy Crookball, uncover the athletes’ names through McCarthiatic tactics. Until then, this story should serve as a powerful guide for you Crookballers to make some intelligent roster changes.
You may think I have an advantage being a co-mish, but you are wrong. I have an advantage because 11 of the 23 players were Brownies! Stay tuned for my roster moves. WOOF! WOOF!
Remember this? Well, 33% of you who took the poll were right! As far as the other 2/3, I don’t even know what you were thinking. I mean seriously, three of you thought he was a chicken. A chicken! You gotta feel for the kid old fella though. Think about it: If you were only good at one thing, wouldn’t you want to just keep doing it over and over…and over ? Montimere was obviously not good enough to make it in the NCAA and at 6′ 5″ the “center” would be laughable in the NBA. Although he averaged over 20pts in the final nine games of the season, his team was still bounced from playoffs in the 1st round–damn kids. Montimere faces up to six months in prison and a $2,500 fine. Not too steep a price for this fantasy basketball camp. When asked if he would do it all over again if he had the chance he responded, “Wait! Is that like seriously an option?”