Author Archives: fantasycrookball

Braylon Edwards’ beard drunk drives him to deviance.

Driving drunk in Manhattan has got to be one of the dumbest crimes in the history of crime.  It’s like getting arrested for kidnapping in Malaysia, where I have it on good authority babies are both plentiful and complimentary. According … Continue reading

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Posted in Car Trouble, Cloudy Piss, Crookballin', Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The Philadelphia Philthies.

Fact–they’re the hottest team in baseball. Fact–they’ve won eleven straight games. Fact–their fans are the scum of the Earth. They really are. If there’s a roster spot for fans next season I can see them going early, like Lindsay Lohan … Continue reading

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Posted in Bitches, Crookballin', Doin' Work | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Missing: JR Smith’s gambling money, Gucci bags, rolexes and a story that makes sense

I am as eager for JR Smith to start crookin’ this offseason as he is anxious for something to happen in his life. I thought for sure his offseason boredom would translate into points already. I mean, he’s already gotten … Continue reading

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Posted in Crookballin' | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Golden Tate and the great Seattle donut heist

Seahawks’ undrafted rookie, Golden Tate, had an insatiable craving for some maple bars at 3am on Saturday. Since his Bellevue apartment is in the same building as Top Pot Doughnuts, the wide receiver usually treats the famous shop as an … Continue reading

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Baby makes a case for including fans in Crookball. Of course, Baby is at a Phillies game.

It’s not too late to vote on this issue! And Phillies baseball has a lot more season to go. See previous post of Phillies fan delinquency.

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Posted in Cloudy Piss, Crookballin' | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

How a Crook uses Twitter to snag bitches

I’m spectin’ to get some points in the Bitches column pretty soon. – Co-mish, Snitches Get Stitches

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Artest is for the peoples!

Ron Artest, who has been on crook-watch all season, opened up his wallet as wide as he generally opens his mouth this week. He Gave away $18,000 in tickets to two lucky fans for game 1 of the NBA Finals. … Continue reading

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Posted in Giving Back | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments