The first week of Crookball witnessed more points than a critic could fathom. While no one was able to capitalize on Warren Sapp’s scandalous Super Bowl weekend or Greg Oden’s purchase of a 7-foot tripod, some of our managers did enjoy a healthy first week of crookery.
NOTE: The first pair of numbers are the total points. The second pair represents the actual score (# of categories ahead).
Nate Robinsomeone vs. Cumberland Farms’ All-Stars: 0-0, 0-0
Snitches Get Stiches vs. Jersey Trash: 2-0, 1-0
Michael Irvin accused of rape >> 1pt for Bitches + 1 Not-Your-Bitch bonus
Charlie Sheen’s Wild Things vs. With Intent to Distribute Ass Kickings: 0-2, 1-2
WVU’s Da’Shaun Butler scraps on the court; fan throws a penny on Pitt coach’s head >> 1 pt for Scrappin’ + 1 pt for Doin’ Work + 1 pt DFW bonus for penny tossing
Rasheed Wallace acts in a play with little kids for NBA Cares >> -1 pt for Giving Back. Sorry, WITDAK!
We Are Marshall vs. Little Lebowski’s Urban Achievers: 0-3, 0-3
Drunken Lindsay Lohan Scraps with ex-Bitch Samantha Ronson >> 1 pt Scrappin’ + 1 pt Bitches + 1 pt Cloudy Piss
Therapists for 500 vs. Haywood’s Heroes: 0-1, 0-1
Ochocinco brings a high schooler to Tootsie’s Cabaret >> 1 pt Po’pourri
Uncle Ronnie Dobb’s Fan Club vs. I Like Weed.: 0-0, 0-0
Baby Got Gats vs. I Heart Nick Cage: 0-0, 0-0